i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
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