yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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