I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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