Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize