Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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