i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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