good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
