hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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