miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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