I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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