I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
