I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
