I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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