And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize