it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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