The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
