Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so let's talk penis.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
