1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize