You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
