did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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