just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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