I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Tell her she can't have a vagina
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
