how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
