It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
