what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
