I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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