i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You have to summon your inner elephant
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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