Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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