shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
