dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
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Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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