oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
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That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
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I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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