Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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