I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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