new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Sorry my hands just texted you
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
