is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
