the condom got lost in my hair
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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