a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
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