so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
