where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize