Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
