How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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