Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
false alarm. still invincible.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
