Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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