maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
