My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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