I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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