I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
