He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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