If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize