yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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