How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
