This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
