i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
