they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
