Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
