you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize