At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
