Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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