If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize