Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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