do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
