after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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