Is it because I queefed?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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