dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Found your dick twin last night
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
