i think my tv is drunk
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
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He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
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Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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