i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
