Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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