he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
